


Make Whole the Broken Ones

by JessicaPendragon



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, The Fade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 07:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2764025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaPendragon/pseuds/JessicaPendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the final events, Hawke and Anders find closure in The Fade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Whole the Broken Ones

“Hawke!”

Varric’s tumbling voice and the flash of hungry eyes were the last things she remembered before the darkness took her. When she woke the turbulent battlefield was replaced by an eerie silence. Her eyes felt heavy, but she forced them open. A pale, colorless sky replaced the sparkling sapphire world she had been in only minutes ago. Formations of twisted rock rose up into the sky around her. Rock and gravel grated against her elbows as she strove to sit up. There was nothing around her. No people, no sound or wind. In the distance, a black city rose across the horizon.

Hawke grunted, her lips turned down. “The Fade. I hate the Fade.”

She brushed pebbles off her armor as she found her feet. A gust of frustration broke from her mouth. They had been on the road from Kirkwall trying to avoid a very determined Seeker while a ship waiting for them down the coast. Whatever this Pentaghast woman wanted with Hawke, she thought it might have something to do with the upcoming conclave between mages and templars. The Seeker probably meant well, but somehow Hawke didn't think her presence would be as comforting as the Divine’s hand believed.

The green scenery around them had suddenly flashed with lightning and frost as they ran across a group of fleeing mages. Desperation clung to their eyes and their hazardous spells. Reason had left them long ago and with one swipe of a blade, blood magic changed one of them forever. An Abomination sprung from their veins. Hawke knew better than to look. How could she let this happen? Hawke had entered the Fade with purpose once and was no stranger to its dangers. The demon had drawn her in this time and she wondered how her companions fared against the beast.

Out of habit, fingers reached behind her back to make sure sharp daggers still rested there. Light feet barely left marks behind as she walked forward with cautious eyes scanning the surroundings. It wouldn't be long now.

True to its nature, the Fade shifted around her like the changing panels of a dream. The crags of rocks and billowy hills smoothed away to put her in a deadly bowl. Hawke watched patches of ground begin to blacken. “Here we go,” she muttered, yanking weapons from their sheaths. Rage demons poured forth, lava limbs scratching channels in the ground. Desire demons swirled into existence, tails flicking like excited cats. Towering Pride demons roared with demented laughter down at her.

Hawke looked around at the deadly ring, swallowing down her quarreling fear. “Well this seems a little bit like overkill, but if you insist.”

The Rage demons came first, as they always did. Their weakness was their speed, but letting them catch you was the end. Hawke darted around them, her enchanted blades slicing through their searing flesh.

‘Don’t you want to rest? You must be so weary,’ a voice full of seductive promise whispered. ‘You’ve fought so hard.’

Hawke shook her head as she felled another foe and did her best to ignore the Desire demon’s song. She had just enough time to feel the shadow looming over her and jump away before a Pride demon’s gigantic fists landed where she had been standing. A Sloth demon sprung up almost under her feet. There were too many.

'I’ll protect you, keep you safe. You won’t have to fight ever again. I know exactly what you need.’

“You don’t know anything about me!” Hawke yelled as she took a desperate swing at the leg of a Pride demon. It laughed as it reached out instead, launching her across the arena. The Champion landed in a puff of dust and the last remnants of air from her lungs. She fought to catch her breath and find her fallen dagger as footfalls thundered nearer. Through matted bangs she watched as the vultures stalked towards her and a numb acceptance filled her heart.

“I hope Varric comes up with a better tale than this,” she whispered and inhaled the dead air for the last time.

A bright light erupted from the ground between Hawke and her enemies. Demons caught in its brilliance turned to ash. The others gave pause as a figure emerged in the glow. One by one, and then all at once, they scattered from this presence until Hawke was alone with the entity. The wall of light flickered out to reveal a spirit warrior made of pure light and heavy plated armor. The helm turned to gaze down at Hawke, but she could not see eyes in its depth. Her bones creaked and her muscles protested as she stood to face this new inhabitant of the Fade. Her hand tightened on her dagger, ready for anything.

“Serah Hawke.” Or so she thought. The familiar voice cut a wound right through her and she struggled to find breath for the second time that day.

“Justice?”

“It is I. I returned to the Fade when my host body was destroyed.”

“Your host bo-” Rage sparked through her. “You son of-”

“I did not return alone, Champion of Kirkwall,” he declared, staling her angered retort. “Your Chantry likes to claim that all souls pass through the Fade when they die. Those of the faith continue to your Maker’s side while the disbelievers remain lost forever. The Chantry is not completely accurate, but some souls do linger here. Mages that cannot accept death or some that were possessed.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Speak plainly. I have no tolerance for your theatrics anymore, Justice.” Hawke demanded and felt her heart leap up her throat. It couldn’t be.

“Anders returned with me. He is here, in the Fade.”

Hawke felt her knees wobble, but refused to stumble.

“I urged him to move on.” Justice shuffled his feet and looked away from her. “I wanted to force him out, but when I arrived I was too weak. Now he will no longer accept my counsel and has built himself a fortress that I cannot enter. He should not linger here. He does not deserve this fate.”

“A fate you had the biggest part in,” Hawke found her voice and it was edged with malice. “Without you, none of this would have happened! There would be no war, there would be no rebellion. Anders would still be alive and I…” _I would never have killed him._ The unspoken words crushed her.

“What is done is done. The chantry is destroyed. Anders is dead, but you can still save him. I have thought of pulling you into the Fade many times, but it would be against his wishes. Despite it all, he was my only friend. Because of it, I am now asking you to save him.”

Hawke took a moment to steady herself. “For him, not for you. Show me the way.”

As Hawke emerged from the portal Justice created, she couldn’t help releasing a disbelieving snort. Towering above stood the chantry of Kirkwall but not like she remembered it. The grand statues covered their eyes in shame as piles of corpses surrounded their feet. Red banners that had soared in the sea air were ripped and stained. Cracks cut jagged lines up the massive stairs and the symbol of Andraste lay broken at their feet.

“This is his fortress? The chantry?”

“It is his prison,” Justice clarified. “Your companions have defeated the abomination that sent you here. Your body is safe for now. I will keep you in the Fade until it is done.”

“What will I find in there?” Hawke asked, her voice quiet. She felt Justice’s gaze on her for a long moment.

“Peace, for both of you.” She turned, but he was gone. Hawke flew up the stairs on her quick feet, but lingered at the threshold. She spent many a fitful night wondering what could have been. Wondering what she would say to this man if given the chance. There had been no time back then. No time because of her. Hawke steeled herself and pushed through the doors. She owed him this.

The inside of the chantry was almost untouched. Red candles burned beneath statues of gold. The gray stone was polished and clean and the blue dotted ceiling unmarked. It was like walking through a memory instead of the Fade. For a moment, she could almost pretend that everything was as it was. But only for a moment. The looming statue of Andraste was gone and the vacant space filled her with dread. She could see two strands of chains thicker than those at the harbor coming from the dais and disappearing into the wings. As she climbed the carpeted steps and finally reached the platform, she found what those iron links held in place.

Anders was suspended a few inches off the ground by the massive chains, his head bowed. Whatever snark comments Hawke had wished to say died before they reached her lips at the sight of him. She rushed forward, taking his head in her hands.

“Anders!” she cried, relief, frustration and fear mixing together like a storm cloud in her throat. He wasn't breathing, but she could feel a struggling heartbeat moving beneath his chest. No matter what she did, his eyes wouldn't open. "What have you done this time?" she asked and finally reached for the chain around his left wrist. It was warm, pulsing with the subtle strum of magic. Grabbing for one of her daggers, Hawke threw all her strength into slashing out at the mighty chain. Pain reverberating up her arm and a clamoring ringing filled the still air. The chain was unmarked. She tried again and again until her arm burned and her wrist could take no more.

The chain vibrated, mocking her attempts. She followed its long path up towards the second level and realized it disappeared through a hole in the wall to another room. Perhaps she could free the other end. Hawke looked back at Anders and ran light fingers across his cheek. "Hold on."

She sprinted up to the second floor and followed the chain to a closed door. Hawke had entered this room before. It was a simple office, but she doubted it was anything but now. She reached out to turn the knob and the world changed. A fire was kindling at her feet, bright and burning against her skin. She could see the bones of a great barn above and felt crisp hay crunch beneath her feet. The screech of horses in panic grated against her ears, but above it all she could hear soft crying. In the middle of the infant inferno, Anders was curled over himself with hands pressed into his eyes.

"It's all my fault, it's all my fault," he was muttering, but it was not the voice she was used to. It was the whimpering of a child and Hawke knew exactly what this moment was. He was only a twelve year old boy when Anders' power exploded, burning his family's barn to cinders and earning the revulsion of his father. The templars had come and carried him off in chains. Hawke looked for something to smother the flames. There were water troughs along the line of stalls. With a quick kick to each, water flowed towards the flame. Angry hisses filled the air as the fire began to die away. As the last trough flooded the floor and the fire finally faded to murmuring cinders, she turned back towards her fallen love.

She crouched down in front of him, placing comforting hands on his shoulders. "It's done, Anders. You needn't worry anymore."

"I could hide this from Father?" he asked, his hands still hiding his face.

"Tell him you dropped a torch. He'll never know the difference."

"I can pretend I'm normal?"

"Yes, you don't ever have to-" Hawke paused.

She remembered the first time she met Anders. It was in the underbelly of the city among the smells of rotting fish, salt and something sickly sweet. The mage had been working over an unwell woman with determined eyes. Hawke remembered his triumphant grin, quick to fade in the wave of fatigue that had washed over him and the presence of a stranger, but even then it had lingered at the corner of his mouth.

"No. You saved people, you helped the Hero of Ferelden and, for better or worse, you've changed the world. This is who you are. Anders." He stilled, tilting his head as if he might recognize her. "Burn this place to the ground."

For a moment all she could hear was her breath before the barn erupted into a firestorm around them. Angry flames shot up like twisting dragons towards the ceiling and wrapped deadly claws around the timber. Hawke closed her eyes as the fire reached out towards them and could smell smoke and burning flesh, but there was no pain. A loud, clamoring sound pierced her eardrums and forced her eyes open in surprise. She could still taste ash in her mouth, but she was no longer in the fire. Her eyes stared ahead at the closed door, her hand still wrapped around the handle. Glancing up, the iron links no longer lingered above and Hawke felt a warm spread of hope. On the altar of Andraste, Anders was now suspended by the last chain, his free arm limp at his side. As she drew nearer, Hawke saw shallow breaths rising his chest slow and steady.

She raced towards the second chain. This time she was prepared for the flash of distortion as the Fade took her to another realm. Yet it didn’t change much. She was back in the chantry but this time it was not the demented prison of the man she loved. Sisters and patrons walked the halls as sunlight poured through elegant windows. Andraste was back in her rightful place and at her feet Hawke saw herself. She stood with Grand Cleric Elthina and the sight of friendly faces nearby lifted the heart. Aveline stood behind her, as always. Fenris shifted about on each foot next to the guard captain, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice. Yet Hawke had brought another companion on this mission, a quest that haunted her to this day.

“Where are you, Anders?” she whispered, glancing in corners and peering underneath shadows. The floor beneath her gave way with no warning and she barely had time to yell before she landed in a heap. The hole remained long enough for her to catch a glance at Andraste before it closed and darkness blinded her. “Great.”

A green flash ignited. A ball of veilfire hovered alone in the dark before the image of Anders materialized into being. They were in a small alcove, most likely in the basement of the chantry. He held a small parcel above a podium, his fingers twitching with indecision. His eyes burned blue.

“Are you sure this is right?” he asked.

“There can be no peace,” Justice’s voice answered back and Hawke bristled, that old familiar feeling of wrath boiling up inside.

“She will hate me for this,” Anders whispered.

“She does not matter.”

Anders sighed. “Again, one of the few things we disagree on.”

“Decide,” Justice declared and Hawke saw his presence disappear from Anders’ veins. The mage stood there with what Hawke knew was a devastating weapon in hand, caught in a moment that would change the fate for so many. Time passed, but he almost became like one of the statues keeping watch above. Hawke approached and tried to catch his eyes, but no matter how she moved or advanced he always seemed to turn away from her. The Fade made it clear she would not be able to look upon him fully until this task was done. She sighed out of frustration, murmuring added loathing for this place.

“Did you know what you’d start with this?” Hawke asked, gesturing to the item in his hand. “You wanted change and freedom, but there’s been nothing but blood and death. The Circles have rebelled all over and open war has begun between them and the templars. I don’t know how this will ever end without the destruction of all Thedas, except for a miracle. How could you do this!”

Hawke slammed her fist down upon the podium and the image of Anders flinched. She took a few moments to catch her runaway breath and quell the anger rolling inside. She couldn’t count the times she had cursed him when sleep refused to come or when they ran across a torrent of templars or mages drunk on power and blood. She resented him the most, however, because she knew he had never been wrong. She read the pages of his manifesto that seemed to appear everywhere in her home. She walked beside him and witnessed the mages’ oppression at the hands of templars and Meredith. She remembered his stories of suffering in the Circle Tower. She heard him stumbling through nightmares as they lay together.

“I know the world was broken,” she admitted. “I know it. And I know how much this meant to you. You were right. The world had to change, and they would have found a way to this point regardless, but the cost…” She thought of Kirkwall awash in blood and of the broken Circles. Chaos was ripe, but it was her own personal pain that marked her so. It was selfish. Maybe this hadn’t been the best way to remake the world. Maybe it had. This decision made Anders who he was just as did the moment his power burst into flame all those years ago. She hadn’t been able to support him then, but she could now.

“Anders,” her voice was strong and he paid heed to her words as he did before. “Do it.” He dropped the package onto the stone and muttered a spell full of heavy words. Runes on the box began to glow a haunting, familiar red. They grew brighter and brighter before blinding Hawke completely. She felt the ground shake, heard something heavy crash to the ground, and then everything exploded. Opening her eyes brought her back to the dim chantry of the Fade. She followed her feet back down and was relieved to see the chains finally removed from Anders. He rested on his knees, chin against his chest, and arms free at his sides. She collapsed before him, taking his face in her hands once more.

“Anders!” she called out, lifting his face towards hers. She shook him gently trying to coax him awake. The chains were broken and there was nothing holding him to this limbo anymore. “So why aren’t you waking up?” She looked up towards the ceiling, eyes narrowed. “Bring back the demons. I’d rather face them than all your tricks and riddles! Give him back to me, you bastard!” She waited, the echoes of her voice dwindling down to silence. Hawke dropped her hands to find his. They were cold, but she placed them on her own cheeks, relishing the feeling of his embrace on her skin again.

“Varric likes to remind me what I did to you was an act of mercy, of-” Hawke couldn't help but choke on the next word. “Justice. You would have been hunted to every corner of this world. Even if everything else became rainbows and sunshine, it never would for you. There would need to be a reckoning for what you did and it wouldn’t have been pretty. And while you lived, you and Justice would never be free of one another. And I knew…I knew it was what you wanted.”

She exhaled, falling forward to rest her forehead against his. “I knew all this, but that wasn’t what was running through my mind when you were sitting there. I was…so angry. Angry at what you had done, how you kept it from me. You took our future away from us. And when you said you were glad it was me…”

Hawke pulled away, letting go of his hands and rocketing up to her feet. She paced around, her fists clenching and unclenching at her sides. Hawke reeled back towards him, pointing an accusing finger. “How could you say that to me? Ask it of me? Killing you killed me, Anders. I can barely even remember what happened after. I felt as if I had stopped my own heart and all the blood in my body replaced with frost. I killed templars, I killed mages. I killed every single thing that stood in my way. Nothing mattered but finishing what we started. It wasn’t until after when I saw your body again…”

Kirkwall's champion fell back to her knees before him, eyes sparkling. “I told you I would love you until the day we died. I promised! And at the very moment you truly needed me I betrayed you. I should have been there with you all along. I should have helped. I should have died with you!” She collapsed into his lap, her face buried into her arms. Pain flowed from her eyes and banged through her body. “Maker help me, I _killed_ you. How could I? I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. Forgive me, please forgive me.”

Hawke’s sobs echoed through the chantry, but she could not stop them. She tried to be strong for her city, for her friends, but she felt like she was holding together a vase smashed into a thousand pieces and constantly waiting for one to fall asunder. The world wasn't the only thing broken and she didn't know how to fix either.

She felt a hand gentle upon her cropped head, careful fingers reaching through the black strands to her scalp. A voice she never thought to hear again whispered in the still. “Marian?”

Darting up, she found the eyes she had fallen in love with.

"Anders!"

"Is this real?"

Hawke wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him so close she could smell the soft soap in his hair. She knew it wasn't real, not truly, but his body against hers felt solid enough. "I'm here."

He grabbed her face, planting kisses against each pore and wiping away tears with his thumbs. He whispered her name over and over in between each caress until her lips stopped him from speaking further. They held each other for what could have been centuries in the mortal world, but Hawke strove to remember every second, every touch and every piece of him she missed so much.

“I could hear you,” his words tickled her collar bone as he hugged her. “You set me free.”

“I couldn’t leave you like that.”

“You’ve always been saving me. You saved me from a life without love and you saved me from becoming something I’d have no control over. I know I was slipping. There were too many blank spaces towards the end. If I was still with Justice…Marian, look at me.” She did as commanded. “I cannot forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive.”

“Anders,” she cried his name, what felt like years of guilt and sorrow making it hoarse. She tried to hide her face from him but he held her tight. “But I didn’t! You ended up in this prison. What happened?”

“What do you mean? I’ve always found the chantry so…homey.” Anders joked before looking away. “When I died, Justice and I emerged in the Fade finally apart for the first time in too many years. Truly apart. It was like I could finally breathe again. I was wholly myself. I didn’t know how much he had changed me until I saw him standing there. And then I remembered…” He glanced down at his hands. “There is so much blood on them. You saved me from the retribution of the people. I deserve to be punished for what I’ve done and especially because I care much less about the pain I’ve caused the world compared to what I did to you. How can you forgive me for what I’ve done, how I betrayed you? If I could go back and change things-”

“Don’t,” Hawke interrupted. “I don’t care. All this time…I realize I forgave you instantly, but I couldn’t face it all on my own. You have to forgive yourself, Anders. We were all pawns in something much bigger. You have to let this go. Don’t you think there’s been enough suffering?”

He reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “Don’t you? There’s so much rage and pain surrounding you. It’s a miracle you made it this far into the Fade without the whole place descending upon you.”

“Well.” Hawke shrugged. “I barely did. Justice saved me.”

Anders’ eyes darkened. “Justice? He pulled you into the Fade?”

“No, that’s another story. He sent me to find you, to help you.”

“I guess I can be thankful for that then. To see you again, any debt he owes me I would call it even.”

“I’m sure you could get much more out of him than this. Perhaps a few more velvet curtains and a porch looking out to the harbor. Definitely a butler.” She cuddled up closer to him as the Fade seemed to shift around her. It grew warmer, brighter. An overwhelming desire to rest settled upon her. “I could just stay here…”

“Marian? Hawke.” Anders pulled away, gripping her arms tightly. As she blinked away the sleep, the Fade returned to its true nature. “You’ve lingered too long. You must return.”

“And you have to move on,” she replied. “Please.”

“You're right. I will, for you. I think I am ready. We couldn’t be together in the old world, but maybe in the next there will be a place for us.” He rose, pulling her along with him. They stood with hands clasped between them, foreheads touching.

“I will never forget you,” she promised.

“And that is my greatest regret of all."

He looked up and Hawke followed his gaze. A hole in the ceiling began to show and debris fell down to disintegrate into nothingness a few feet above their heads. The void grew larger and larger, eating away the walls around them until there was only the platform beneath them. All around them was a golden glow. They shared a final kiss that Hawke never wanted to end, but she could feel Anders drifting away. Whatever was holding her in this world was giving up its spell over her as well. Fingers from the real world were tugging her back. She looked into his eyes.

“I love you. I will see you again. I will tear the heavens apart to find you.”

Anders smiled. “I know it. Goodbye, my love.”

The light consumed them both until nothing remained.

“Look, I think she’s waking up!” A new but familiar face welcomed Hawke back to the world of the living. She took a moment to take it all in- a small wooden room that swayed gently, a straw bed that embraced her. Her muscles and veins tingled as if she had been asleep for a great time. Perhaps she had.

Hawke focused on the visage before her and finally remembered the woman it belonged to. “Isabela?”

“Hello sweetness. Decided you had enough beauty sleep?”

“How long have I been gone?”

“Two and a half days. Don’t worry, we took good care of you. Who knew Fenris was such a qualified nurse?” Hawke turned her head and found the Tevinter elf leaning up against the wall, arms and legs crossed.

“Did you carry me the rest of the way?" Hawke asked.

“Varric did most of the work I’m told,” Isabela answered and received a snort.

“The dwarf is useless for manual labor. No wonder he’s in the merchant guild,” Fenris said.

“Where is he?”

“He had to get off the boat before, and I quote, ‘I punch a hole in this boat and make it very awkward for all of us.’ He was worried sick for you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were his one and only love,” Isabela revealed.

“Alas, Bianca will always have his heart,” Hawke replied, pressing up on her elbows.

“He went into town to send a raven for Merrill to come and save you. You know, blood magic, demons and what not are her specialty. I’m sure he made a stop at the pub for some 'medicine' as well.” Isabela moved closer on the bed, resting her hand on Hawke’s arm “I’m glad you’re back with us.”

“Indeed,” Fenris agreed. “Are you all right, Hawke?”

Hawke looked inside herself, testing out the bones of her old soul for the familiar breaks. She found things beginning to mend and the constant weight she carried growing lighter with each moment the sweet salt air moved through her lungs. Her heart beat, and it didn’t hurt so much anymore. Nothing would ever be the same, but there was hope.

“I’m all right.”


End file.
